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Yogi Berra said “The future ain’t what it used to be”.  Nothing could be more true than in the case of an elderly man with Dementia.

Both Mom & Dad avoided the “conventional” is most areas of their life.  They were anti-war activists in the 40’s,  Used organic foods and took vitamins beginning in the 50’s.  And then they wore Polyester in the 90’s. Sometimes, there are conventional approaches that have good reasons.

Old age took them totally be surprise and their desire to hold on to independence became foolish denial.  They never dreamed that they would ever be old and infirm simply because the assumed they would be different. In many ways, it was very admirable to be so independent and unconventional for much of their life.  But at this point with my dad, his “I can do it!” attitude when he’s laying flat on his back after falling out of bed is not only sad but, to me, absolutely infuriating.

It’s one thing to “Question Authority” and something entirely different to wage power struggles with an adult just trying to help you stand up long enough to get to the bathroom.  I used to think that it was so sad and wrong to medicate and restrain old people and now it’s perfectly clear that there just aren’t that many alternatives that keep them from causing themselves serious injury.

It is also right “in my face” why people avoid the old and crazy – and that is because it is apparent that many of our futures stare us right in the face when we look at a pathetic elderly person unable to achieve even the most basic tasks without pain, struggle and embarrassment.